We recognize that many of our beloved friends and family do not share in our Catholic faith; we are so honored that you would join us in this celebration and want to make sure you feel welcomed and comfortable. Below is a guide to help you navigate the Catholic wedding mass.
In the Catholic Church, marriage is a sacrament--or a visible sign of God's love in this world. This means that the couple's love and commitment to one another are supposed to mirror God's love for His church, making God's love visible to one another and to the community who gathers to witness their marriage.
We will exchange our vows in the middle of a nuptial mass. Mass is the central act of worship for a Catholic and therefore a sacred part of our wedding celebration. For your convenience, we will provide worship guides at the church to help you follow along. If you feel comfortable, we would love the have your voice join in with the responses and songs that are part of the celebration of the mass. You'll notice that Catholic mass involves a lot of standing, sitting, and kneeling--we'll include guides for those actions, but you may also follow what the others in the pew are doing.
1. The Gloria
We begin mass (once Tami and John reach the altar) with a song praising God; you might be familiar with this prayer if you've heard "Gloria in excelsis deo" sung at Christmas time (the one where Catholics add about 18 "o's" to the middle of the word "gloria."). A cantor will lead guests in singing a version of the song and we'd love it if you would add your voice to the refrain.
2. The Liturgy of the Word
Following the Gloria and an opening prayer from Fr. Tom, we will hear biblical readings chosen by the bride and groom. The first reading will come from the New Testament, followed by a psalm (please join in with singing the psalm if you're comfortable!), followed by another New Testament reading. These readings remind us of God's presence throughout human history and how He touches our lives still today. The Liturgy of the Word concludes with a reading from one of the Gospels (stories of Jesus' life) and a few words (homily) from the priest about what these readings can teach us.
3. The Marriage Ceremony
After the Gospel and homily, Tami and John will stand to exchange vows and perform the marriage ceremony. Fr. Tom will ask a few questions of the bride and groom to make sure that they are making the decision to marry of their own free will, that they intend to be faithful to one another, and that they are prepared to lovingly welcome children into their marriage. Then Tami and John will say their vows, exchange rings, and be officially joined as husband and wife! Alleluia!
4. Professing our Faith and Prayers of the Faithful
Mass doesn't end with the marriage ceremony! At this point, we're only about half-way done. Everyone will stand and (if comfortable) recite the Nicene Creed--this prayer highlights the focal points of our faith. Then, a reader will step forward to read a list of things that we would like to pray for. After each prayer is stated, please respond "Lord, hear our prayer."
5. Eucharistic Prayer
Get ready because this is where the kneeling/standing/sitting business really kicks into gear. A few guests will bring forward bread and wine for the priest to consecrate into Christ's body and blood. This is the most important part of the mass, which is why most of it is done with the congregation kneeling out of respect of Christ--who we believe is present on the altar in a tangible way. The Eucharistic Prayer ends with the congregation singing "Amen" before standing to sing the "Our Father"; it is customary to join hands with the people next to you while saying the Our Father prayer---but no one will be offended if you choose not to.
6. The Nuptial Blessing
Fr. Tom will pause after the Our Father to ask the witnesses (that's you guys!) to raise your hands in front of you to bless Tami and John as they begin their marriage. We would be honored if you would add your blessing by holding us in your thoughts as Fr. Tom says the words of the Nuptial Blessing.
7. Sign of Peace
The priest will invite everyone to turn and share a sign of peace with those around you. This is a moment to turn and shake hands with the people near you. You may choose to add "Peace be with you" as you shake hands.
8. Communion
Catholics believe that the bread and wine on the altar are consecrated and so become Christ's body and blood. By eating and drinking these gifts, we believe that we receive grace from God and share in Christ's very body. Because these gifts are incredibly sacred--they are Christ himself!!--Catholics believe that only those who have been taught how to properly respect these gifts should receive them.
Therefore, we ask that non-Catholics do not take the body and blood during communion--although we would love for you to step forward with the other people in your pew, cross your arms in front of your chest (to signal that you are not receiving communion), and receive a blessing from the bride or the groom at the front of the church.
9. Devotion to Mary
Catholics honor the Virgin Mary as the Mother of God and the perfect disciple; in fact, we love her so much that this parish is named after her! After communion, Tami and John will take a few moments to kneel before a statue of Mary to ask her to pray for their marriage.
10. Final Blessing and Dismissal
The priest will lead everyone in a final blessing for the couple; please respond "Amen" after each of the priest's statements. After this blessing, the priest will dismiss the mass and Tami and John will process down the aisle as husband and wife.